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Vashi2Panvel.com: Navi Mumbai: December 6:Funny man Shekhar Suman may have cracked a million jokes on how a man invites trouble by getting married. Ironically, Shekhar was hooked, booked and cooked, when he was all of 21! And he has no regrets. In fact he feels he should have gotten married earlier. “A woman is a stabilizing factor in a man’s life. I owe my stability to Alka”, he quips. An interesting love story… one in a million. We met the couple on a Tuesday morning, at their residence. Shekar, true to his image is the more talkative one. Words, to describe a situation flow aptly, on Shekar’s part, while Alka, his wife, in sharp contrast is very quiet and fumbles for words on many occasions. Pardon the arduous cliché, but opposites do attract, and how. Read on.

BEFORE THE WEDDING:
“I met Alka when I was in college, and I strongly believe it was destiny, we were destined to meet. Alka studied in a girls’ college…” wait a minute, did he say girls’ college? And pray, what was Shekar doing in a girls’ college? “Yea, what was I doing there. (Laughs) They were hosting an inter college event, so I accompanied my friend, who wanted to meet his girlfriend there. And Alka was her friend. I believe I was destined to go to Alka’s college that day”, says Shekar nostalgically. “It was love at first sight, undoubtedly.” Was two years enough for them to know each other? “I think we got to know each other very well. I can’t speak for others. We were madly in love. My parents tried to reason with me, but finally gave in saying that if it is so important for you to get married, then go ahead.” It was love at first sight for Alka too. Ask her what attracted her to Shekar, and she promptly says, “Everything about him was attractive. His looks, his style, I was floored.” What about his sense of humour? “Yeah, that too”, she smiles.

THE WEDDING AND AFTER:
“We met in 1982 and got married on the 4th of May in 1984.”Ask him if he can recollect his wedding day for us, and Shekhar obliges effortlessly. He can’t suppress his laughter when he tells us what the scenario was like on his wedding day. “Everyone was laughing when I entered the mandap. And there I was, wondering if anything was wrong with my turban or if my shirt was okay. But they were laughing because I was a kid, and looked like one. Most of them were convinced it was a child marriage”, Shekhar says between peels of laughter. “Also I was very eager for the whole ritualistic process to be over soon. But the pandit took, what I thought was forever to get Alka and me married. Maybe the desperation showed on my face, which made me look even funnier”, he quips.

“I remember, I was loitering on the sets of a movie, and was playing with my son in my arms, when Shammi Kapoor asked me, ‘Whose son is that?’ I promptly replied ‘mine’. Shammi Kapoor told everyone to stop shooting, pointed towards Alka and me, roared out laughing and said, ‘look, bachon ne milke, bacche paida kiya hai’ (these kids have given birth to a kid).

It would be hard to believe that Shekhar, who is considered to be one of the most street smart, witty and diplomatic celebs today, was once upon a time very very naïve. “I was so scared to go on my honeymoon in Pokhran (Nepal), with Alka that I asked my sister and her husband to accompany us. They willingly obliged, and Alka hasn’t forgiven me till date for being so silly. We couldn’t get romantic with my sister and brother-in-law hanging around all the time”, informs Shekhar.

Life hasn’t exactly been a cakewalk for Shekhar and Alka. “Alka was very against my joining the film industry. She couldn’t bear the thought of another lady touching me, and to top it all, I started out with an erotic film like Utsav”, he says. Then came the link ups with Rekha, which the media wrote about unsparingly. “I remember Stardust wrote a full length article on how Rekha destroyed new comer Shekhar Suman’s marriage. Things like these hurt, but then any publicity is good publicity. But I had even written to Rekha, telling her not to pay heed to such things.” Alka was shocked, no doubt, but calmed down later, and even learnt to deal with such link ups as part and parcel of Shekhar’s job. Luckily for her, matters were soon under control. “The first blow was the biggest blow. I moved on to comedy soon after, so no controversial stories were being done on me”, he says as he heaves a sigh of relief. Does that mean Shekhar is now a changed man, and Alka needn’t fear losing him to any other lady? “She never feared that anyways. She knows I love her a lot. But she keeps teasing me that I have become very smart and have learnt to ditch the media”, he says with his trademark tongue in cheek style. “She didn’t want me to join films, but she is happy for me. She has learnt that, that is where my happiness lies, and is glad to share my happiness”, states.

SECRET SHARING:
Most people claim that there is no secret for a perfect marriage. But Shekhar seems to have stumbled upon the most sort after secret. “For a marriage to work, one person has to take a backseat. Both can’t afford to be dominating”, he states. And who is more dominating amongst the two of them? “It has to be me. No two ways about it”, he says, and then lets out another secret. “Women like to feel that they have control over their husbands. So I let her believe that she has won, and has an upper hand… sometimes”, he says with a mischievous smile on his face. Alka agrees too. “If one person is aggressive or dominating by nature, the other has to be understanding about it. That’s how it works”, she says.

As to, men being from Mars and women from Venus, Shekhar is a firm believer of this statement. “I totally agree with it. In fact I believe that men are zombies, they are from anywhere but earth. And we need women to keep us rooted to earth”, he says roaring with laughter. On a serious note, he continues that, “ A woman is the best thing that has happened to a man. They are very mature, and men can’t do without them.” What did he like in Alka, considering that he is such a big fan of all womankind? “I like women who look and behave like women. I am not a chauvinist, but it really puts me off, when I see a woman, who tries to behave like a man. I find it very funny to see a husband and wife, both rolled in one. That is what attracted me to Alka. She was and still is, very gentle, and feminine. Even today, she is very modest, and doesn’t like to show off that she is Shekhar Suman’s wife. She will lie low. You won’t even know when she will come in and walk out of the room. That’s Alka.”


20 YEARS LATER:
“Just like wine, and scotch, my relationship has matured with time”, he states. “But I can proudly state that without Alka, I would not have reached the heights I have today. The reason I am stable today is that I had Alka with me from a very early stage in life. It is necessary for a man to be anchored, and a woman provides just that.”
After all the ups and downs, Shekhar is not disillusioned with the concept of marriage. “I am the kind of person who likes and dislikes things or people at first sight itself. If I like a particular thing, be it my computer, or mobile or my home, it is for keeps. If I dislike a particular thing, then I can t stand it, even for a second. So you can say, I am a committed man”, he laughs.

Alka is happy with the way her marriage has taken shape too. She has no illusions about hers being the perfect marriage though. “Every relationship has its ups and downs”, she says and pauses, fumbles for the right words, and continues, “but I’d say I’ve had a pretty contented marriage.”

Is it an advantage or a disadvantage to have a spouse from outside the industry? Shekhar opines in the positive. “I think it is a total advantage. Because Alka is not connected to the film industry in any way, other than via me, we don’t eat, drink, walk, and sleep films”, he asserts. Even though Shekhar may be one of the wittiest persons on television, he dare not try his smart one liners on his wife. “She hates them, and she shows it”, is his reaction when quizzed if his wife is a victim of his wisecracks too.

ROMANTIC DUO:
The most romantic thing they have done for each other? “Alka loves flowers. She is not very crazy about diamonds, or other things ladies would love to get as gifts. But she loves flowers. I guess, she loves the simple things in life.” That Alka loves flowers is very evident. There are flowers in the entire home. Every wall has flower impressions on them. “I know my home looks like a garden, but I can’t help it. I just love flowers”, quips Alka.

“Alka has done the interiors for our home. And she was spending a bomb doing up the home. But she said that interior decoration was her passion and asked me not to crib. So I shut my mouth and told her to go ahead and do whatever she likes and spend as much as she wants”, says Shekhar with a sad and funny face.

“She is also an eternal romantic. She wants me by her side all the time. She is not a very party person, but is very happy attending parties with me. She doesn’t mind anything as long as I am by her side”, he cooes like a newly wed. “But I am getting busier by the day, and when she is not in a mood to listen, I tell her that I need my space, but that is only when she overdoes it.” Don’t be mistaken, he’s not complaining. “I feel lucky to have a woman in my life, who loves me so much.”

Even though Shekar has his share of complaints against Alka, he can’t stop raving about the sweet funny things she has done for him either. “I was a huge fan, rather I was in love with Helen and Nanda when I was a kid. I didn’t know what was love, but I was pretty much in love with them. Then there was a point when Alka and I were looking for a nice home to purchase. In the process she came across Nanda, and Alka actually told her that I was in love with her and wanted to marry her. Mind you, Nanda is still single and pretty”, he says with a twinkle in his eye. “But that was a very sweet thing to do on her part.”

WILD CHILD:
The loss of his elder son, due to congenital heart problem has shattered Shekhar and Alka, but has brought them closer. “Alka wanted to keep the family as close as possible then. She even put on weight at that point of time, and I am a fitness freak, but I didn’t say anything then, because I realized she needed her space”, he says, with sudden seriousness. “That period was emotionally very taxing on both of us.”

His second son Adhyan, who is 16 years old and now in London is the apple of his eye though. “It was a conscious decision on my part to send him to London. I didn’t want him to be part of the glamour and gossip that I have to go through. Out there, no one cares even if you’re the king’s son. That is a great leveler”, he states.

And what if Adhyan comes home one day soon and says he wants to get married? “Well, I would try to convince him to wait till he is a little older, but if getting married is such a prerogative then he might as well go ahead with it. After a certain point, a parent should let his child live his own life”, says Shekhar on a philosophical note. And then back to old self states, “As the saying goes, ‘By the time you realize that your parents were right, you have children who think you are wrong’.”

WIFE FRIGHT:

“I am scared of Alka, but in a very comical sense. I had given up smoking for 10 years and all of a sudden a few months back, I started to smoke again. She was obviously bewildered. I gave her a nice dialogue about how I was stressed out, etc, etc… but she said she didn’t want to hear a word. So if I want to smoke, I have to go underground, or hide in some corner of the house, so that she doesn’t find me smoking, else I’m dead”, he smiles.

Seeing the two of them very much in love after 21 years of marriage, one can happily say ‘Opposites do attract’.

Sujata Anthony Reddy